i don't know why, but lately i have been feeling, off.
nothing health wise or family related, but personally, i feel like things
aren't what i thought they were. and that's not to say that i was hoping to be
a princess and have a big mansion with people painting my nails (hey, a girl
can dream!), but that i didn't expect things to be so different! in high-school
i had it easy. my clothes were already picked out (something i didn't think of
until i had to wear actual clothes on a normal day - ugh (-; ), i had
amazing friends around me and we pretty much saw each other 24/7 and things
were just handed to me - i was pushed (in an inspiring, creative way)!
university is completely different. you have to push
yourself into the person you want to be. no teacher is going to say, "hey,
georgie, remember to get home and do all the readings and the homework and i'll
check on it tomorrow. ok?" and this is something that i've never
experienced before; my own independence upon education. maybe i'm contemplating
these things because i finish my degree in 3 1/2 years (yikes!), but i
think i am also having self-doubt. and that is not on the career that i have
chosen, because primary teaching is my passion, and it has been for a very,
very long time. but that i may not be good enough to teach the future world
leaders, doctors and kind-hearted people.
it could be because i am obsessed with Rokkie (a
website for teenage girls - ha ha), but the girl who founded, edits and writes
the blog, is 17! she is younger then me and has the ability to articulate
herself in such a well rounded manner, that i am completely envious (read the
interview with emma watson!). but even this guy, who might of wanted to me a
musician and things didn't turn out exactly how he wanted it too, he has a
great way to look at life - The Uneducated Opinion.
maybe i am being silly (it could be because my exams
are very soon!), and just reading into things too much, but i needed to get
this off my chest. i know i am still going to feel off (it's the feeling when
you have a million things in your head and cannot do anything about them) for a
while, but i think i need to remember one thing; independence is something not
to be taken granted.
love, georgie x
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